Saturday, July 30, 2005

I Hate Gwen Stefani

I hate Gwen Stefani and I'll tell you why. She's a selling-out talentless whore who exploited good music.


The face of evil?

For those of you who don't know, Gwen Stefani was the lead-girl of a band named No Doubt. They had 2 kick-ass mid-90's albums that mixed a hook-full mix of ska, funk, rock, and just a pretty cool schmorgisbord of alternative rock. After there first two records, they started increasing on the Andrew Scale of Suckiness. And I'll tell you why! Because of the harlot pictured above. She started gaining more and more creative control of the band, turning them into a generic new wave revival band. And as predicted by me a few years ago, she went solo. Her solo album is one smoldering pile of steaming dung that I wouldn't be caught dead listening too. Her song "Hollaback Girl" makes me want to vomit and on occasion gave me diarrhea.

What I really don't understand is the whole premise of the song. For the most part the lyrics are full of feminist bull-shit that no intelligent person would take as empowering or whatever the hell she's trying to do. Ok now the part of this song where it starts sucking is the very beginning. The same monotonous beat plays throughout the entire song putting its listeners into a semi-coma in hopes that they won't realize how much of a money grubbing tool she is. That part where it really gets out of control is when she starts shouting her chute about, and I quote, how "this shit is Bananas". Ok now, on most occasions I don't mind hearing about this wonderfully delicious fruit. But coming out of her mouth in this song is to much. And then she has the balls to actually spell out the word in the song. "B-A-N-A-N-A-S". Ok...So what are your trying to prove? That you know how to spell so your superior? Congratulations Gwen, Your a Tool

40 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

HOW FUNNY! FINALLY I HAVE MET SOMEONE WHO AGREES WITH ME! Get that muzak warbling whore off my radio and off my t.v.. EW!

4:58 PM  
Anonymous Cami said...

"She's a selling-out talentless whore who exploited good music."

She's still more talented than your dumbass, and I love her music by the way.

1:28 PM  
Blogger Deepi said...

i seriously cringe when i am flipping through the radio and i hear one of her ridiculously annoying songs. oh gawd if i see her videos on tv while im channel surfing, it sends my blood pressure sky rocketing. how is she famous? she LOOKS absolutely nuts (it seems like she's trying sooo hard to be a fashion icon but if u remember her from the early no doubt days, she was just a simple small town girl). She does not have a voice that is anything special. Her songs are pointless and lack substance. so how is she so famous?? i don't get it.

1:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah, she is talentless. her voice is ridiculous. she wears as much makeup as all the kids at the local high school combined. now she has an entourage?? how arrogant can she be?? i never liked her and can't wait until i never have to hear her quackings again

12:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wonder why she gets so much play on the radio. To me, the most aggravating part of her work is that the beats and the music is just so boring, yet does not disappear into the background. I don't wish she would disappear, but I wish I wouldn't hear it so much. Her music, as has many other artists' in the past, has become overplayed.

3:29 PM  
Anonymous Michael said...

The only reason talentless fuckers like this exist is because there are legions of idiots out there who think she makes good music.

Like the person in my office who has "The Sweet Escape" as his ring-tone - talk about broadcasting your sexuality and philistinism to the world.

Like the person who called in to the radio station playing at my gym , asking for the aforementioned pile-of-shit song to be played on the air - as if that fucking station didn't play the song ten times a day already.

3:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The thing that sucks the most is that when you say she sucks, all of the Gwenabes accuse you of being jealous. I might be jealous of Jessica Alba, but never Gwen.

11:01 PM  
Blogger mahoneko said...

You need to be careful you don't become someone who hates change. No doubt were good, but they've had their day. Gwen's solo stuff is very different but its pretty impressive. Hollaback and Wind It Up are ground breaking 21st century tracks, it takes a while to get your head around it. You need to have a more open mind to music, you shouldn't just hide away in the early to mid nineties. All good things comes to an end. If eveything stayed the same how boring would life be. Move on man.

10:39 PM  
Blogger gwenfan said...

J-E-A-L-O-U-S

GWEN MAKES AWESOME MUSIC
NO DOUBT IS BACK!
AND...

YOUR JUST MAD GWEN WOULDN'T WANT TO FUCK YOUR LITTLE SORRY ASS

6:44 PM  
Anonymous Georgia(: said...

YOURE ONE SAD PERSON!
She Is VERY talented
And So what if she sold out?
Dont you think more people will want to go see no doubt, and get into their stuff after her touring and all.
And If you actualy hate her, dont litsen to her music.
I take it that youre the sort of person who doesnt like change,

8:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WELL I HAVE A FEW REASONS WHY YOU WOULDNT LIKE HER

1 HER MUSIC IS MORE GIRLY NOW

2 YOUR A BOY

3 ITS PROB NOT YOUR TYPE OF MUSIC

SO IF U WERE INTO THAT STUFF YOU WOULD LIKE HER BUT YOUR NOT SO U HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE MEAN

2:15 PM  
Blogger rockme said...

The music industry gets worse every year. But it's just business
and the only aim is to make money.
And it seems that is all most performers care about as well.
Actually it's not just the music
business - it's business everywhere.

If someone will buy it, someone will sell it. There is no accounting for taste. I don't
like commercial pop music myself,
but many do. Gwen has her fans,
and her fans have made her rich.

5:31 PM  
Anonymous NoDoubtTour.com said...

Gwen Stefani is so awesome. She and NO DOUBT sound great live in concert also! I can't wait to see them when they come to Arizona in 2009. Keep an eye on their Tour Dates at www.NoDoubtTour.com

8:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

all of you out there insulting Gwen are talentless losers who go around insulting other people who are out doing something with their lives and not sitting around on the internet insulting other people to make yourselves feel better.

She IS talented and YOU aren't, so get over it, Losers

10:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think you should just let her be. I don't think she's amazing but you still shouldn't b so harsh. She can sing at least and i guess ur just jealous thet ur not more like her :) sweet dreams

1:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hate Gwen too, after she threw some United States Marines out of her concert at Darien Lake in NY. She told security to throw them out because she is anti war and did not want the Marines at her concert. Unpatriotic bitch. Hope she knows that the service men and women willing to die for her freedom do not make policy. Hate war? Take it out on the politicians, not these brave young men.

8:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

whatever heck you f**ktards say..........

gwen's life is waaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy better than yours... she won't even give a damn of what u are all sayin'

you try singin' and let's see what the whole world will say..

1:45 AM  
Blogger mmmfreak said...

wow....dude your dfucking retarted... icant even put into words how dumb you sound. L.A.M.B. was for dance shit, get over yourself. No Doubt has some amazing music, Gwen is one of the most talented singers out there. your a fag.

7:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fucking stole if i were a rich man, she's such a stupid cunt.

11:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

even with a baby shes hot and too good for you. Bet you anything if you had the time of day with her you'd take it, you sorry little fucker. Anyways! I love you GWEN

6:13 AM  
Blogger H8GWEN2 said...

Shes a greedy hag just like her distant relative MADONNA! google that NOW!

2:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you're an idiot. first of all, her voice is incredible i'd like to hear you or anyone else sing like she does. second, she had two kids and look at her. she looks amazing. third, she didn't sell out. it's called taking her music in a different direction. the only reason she changed her style is because people started listening to different things and shes going with the flow. and i saw no doubt recently when they came back for their reunion and they're still amazing. you're obviously just some stupid punk who has nothing better to do than rag on talented celebrities. so if you don't want to hear her songs turn the radio off and go away cause nobody wants to hear you talk smack about someone that most of the world loves ok? by the way i don't think that the late great bradley nowell (i doubt you even know who that is) would collaborate with someone who isnt talented and beautiful.

9:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Look how stupid all the motherfuckers that are defending Gwen Stefani are. They can't even spell! Dumb motherfuckers would love a crappy, mediocre artist like GS! It's just fucking funny how stupid some of these motherfuckers are.

4:44 PM  
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12:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A just decided a few minutes ago to dedicate my life to the greatest talent that has ever existed: Madame Gwenneth Rebaldo Ammai Stradivarius von $tefani ! As her pure and unadulterated voice has graced all forms of media and has penetrated every...single...facet...of....our...lives, we cannot glorify her contributions to the posterity of the music world enough ! Her music, or dare I say God sent art, is more then just base pop rantings, it is a path to utter enlightenment that all of us lesser mortal must strive to comprehend. The subtle overtones, the perfect grammar, the single letters of B$A$N$A$N$A$ all are a mesmerizing and sublime education to lead us profane souls to the everlasting light, and shit. Since I can only play seven instruments (trumpet, French horn, bass, organ, keyboard, Hurdy-Gurdy, drums, dulcimer, spoons) I will never have the powerful 7 (seven) octave voice and/or talent of "The Angel" and since I have never had any commercial $ucce$$, I am an invalid and could never criticize the financial institution that will be known as the "House of $tefani" for hundred of generations to come. Her bravery to sign the bottom line when the Kloven Hoof presented the contract is something you hate'n cowards would never have the guts to do! Telbaldi and Callis are nothing next to this pillar of culture and talent. Blessed One. I grovel at her feet and even at the feet of her husbands gay ex-lover(s)and her hairdresser, and her producer, and her gardener, and her bodyguards and the blessed servants that clean her home and wash her feet and her children and her children's children.....for ever and ever. Amen Deo Est Gwen Angelica....Domunis Eturnis . Amour Amen.

---Broccoli Rob

9:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

GWEN IS A SMELLY TURD. AMEN.

10:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't think she's talentless, however, she was WAYYY better in No doubt, than she was solo. her voice was original...then when she went solo...it all went downhill. but at least shes back with no doubt thank goodness.

3:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anyone who googled "i hate gwen stefani" just so they could defend her on the internet: get a fucking life.

7:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, yes. The fact this woman came out as big time libutard, shilled for Obama, and was seen sucking Clinton's D*I* C* K at a Kennedy center gala - made me want to projectile vomit. Nothing worse than a brain-dead feminista democrat. Will never give this cow another red cent - EVER.

5:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know what I REALLY hate about her is when she does that stupid little pouty face when they zoom in for a close up. And if you watch ALL her videos I think you will see what I mean if you haven't already.

6:46 AM  
Blogger melanieable said...

I hate her too. That new windows phone commercial makes me want to gouge my eyes out... oh and the part where she says 'writing songs is so hard' makes me cringe. Like she even writes songs.. fucking whore.

9:13 AM  
Blogger melanieable said...

I hate her too. That new windows phone commercial makes me want to gouge my eyes out... oh and the part where she says 'writing songs is so hard' makes me cringe. Like she even writes songs.. fucking whore.

9:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I m a nd gs fan, but I have to say I enjoyed your hate rant Im not gonna twist my pants up for your imput on someone you dont like, shit I hate lots of things too.i love reading your stuff your hate is a boiling pot id be honored to burn in.

3:18 AM  
Anonymous SheISaHollaBackGirl said...

It's been over 8 years since you originally posted this and I still think her music SUCKS BAD. The fact she is and ever was famous is the "shit" that is "bananas" in this scenario.

11:57 PM  
Anonymous Micky Finn said...

Dont speak about gwen like that,I'd fuck her B.A.N.A.N.A.S and then the next day holla back at that girl and fuck her bananas again no doubt..!.

9:43 PM  
Anonymous Micky Finn said...

Dont speak about gwen like that,I'd fuck her B.A.N.A.N.A.S and then the next day holla back at that girl and fuck her bananas again no doubt..!.
Whooooooihooooooo

9:48 PM  
Anonymous Gwen Stefani said...

Gwen Stefani Gwen Stefani Gwen Stefani Gwen Stefani Gwen Stefani Gwen Stefani Gwen Stefani Gwen Stefani

9:51 PM  
Blogger Joshua Carrasquillo said...

I literally wish Gwen would have died a long time ago. I would feel inner satisfaction.

6:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Her feet and sometimes her face looks good. She however is commie pinko fag liberal.

8:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

At least I am younger than her,and I look it too ;) by about 6 years !!

12:51 PM  

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